tough training

what a terrible day it was and will be today. was on my way to the stadium. on the escalator going up, there were a grandma and granddaughter in front of me. then the grandma fell backwards. i was like backing away, down the escalator cos the grandma looked quite heavy and i was scared that i could not hold on to her without falling. so i let my fear overcome me and stepped behind. she kept falling backwards and did a "flip". not funny. and then she was in a daze. so was i. she could barely stand up at the landing and was sitting at the side. oh my gosh! i felt so guilty. and was like how could i have been such a coward. i quickly left the gathering crowd. catherine: YOU ARE SUCH A COWARD!

then the very-much dreaded training arrived. and it was good that i dreaded it from the start. cos i just put up with it till it ended. though it sounds ok, but my fitness dropped and my stamina dipped like a plunging anchor. it was like tough for me. i had to run 2sets of 800m. which was not what i usually ran. after running, my mouth was like tasting so salty. and my breath was ragged. talk about going outside my comfort zone. it must have been really comfortable. lets see. my timing for 800 compared is 3.37min which dipped further to 4.11min. WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH. and that mr loh/lo/low still talks about 'u are going to run 3000m, how can u say u cannot run this?' wtf. ok. so maybe since i am in long dist i should be like quite ok in this kind of training but i admit im not, OK? and i never meant to join this section because of taking part in competitions but to improve my 2.4km timing; partly cos of my friends. ha. whatever to that and that and that which is undesired. i was so lonely today. alone and abandoned. .........